Poised over the key board. Ready to demolish the self-issued assignment of creating an anti-resume...What now? I could guess at exactly what that is- no, I'll research. What do I research? Anne Sexton seems to be the founder of the idea. On second glance though- none of the examples online even remotely resemble Sexton. Most of the examples given are "dating resumes". The internet's great right? RIGHT?!
Now it gets amusing: Ask the librarians. They're here to help! better yet- maybe they're here to make you feel completely inept for even proposing such a radical concept to someone over 55. "Why in the world would you want to do something like that? It all seems a bit silly, don't you think?" and "Would you even want to work for a place that did things this way?" YES! Yes, ma'am I would love to! This is the whole reason I love music...the reason I ended up in art school...the reason I just write outlandish excerpts about nothing because it's SO meaningful to no one but me!
I VENTURE OUTWARD. Expanded search: Ask my teachers. Wilk? He'll help. This seems like his cup (or stainless steel thermos) of tea (or coffee). Mrs. Laird? Not sure if she'd understand the compliment in it- but I think she too is just crazy enough to get into something like this! Now for the Psyc Dept. Zielinski's definately gonna dig this. Now to ask everyone I know: What are my most obnoxious flaws or traits?
Here's where you truly learn something about yourself. Everyone who you thought for sure would criticize you- appears at a loss. My little sister, the most entertainingly evil, cynical and outlandishly rude (inagoodway) girl I know responds: "Uh, I got nothin'". And all the really sweet people you never think to ask such a question to, just so happen to over hear your inquiry and rip into you like a pack of rabid hyenas! Ouch. What's that country song say? "Ya' find out who your friends are".
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Good distinction regarding my drink of choice and respective container. That thermos and coffee held within help me destroy many keyboards--I JUST CAN'T TYPPPPE ILOVEBLOGGINGFASTENOUGHHHH--but I feel like I failed you; I didn't get to respond to your antiresume soon enough. I wouldn't have been able to tell you anything, though, just been able to reassure you. Is every antiresume equal to every other antiresume? Probably not? But you did it right, it was bowel crunching, and it was totally you. Actually, what it is, is your cadence and rhythm. You must be a musiker. Your sentences read in a way that we'd be sorry with ourselves to disagree with anything you say.
Of course, once and while, I enthusiastically disagree.
And where is MIKE MATTHEWS?
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